Date Night Drama: From Bling to Breakdown

Oh, hi there! I apologize for my absence. I was working two jobs and having no social life again, silly me, forgot to blog!

Josh and I are still doing the date night thing, this time we ventured to Granite City here in town. He told me to pick my favorite restaurant, but I over-analyzed (duh) and chose GC because I thought Josh would like it. End result? Neither of us were thrilled. My wine was great but let's face it, I always think the wine is great. After dinner was finished, we decided to skip dessert and get the check.

We headed to Carmela's Bistro and Wine Bar afterwards, and I must say, Carmela's saved the evening. The atmosphere is so welcoming; definitely upscale in prices and service, but I would have been comfortable in jeans and flats. We ordered creme brulee, a bottle of bubbly, and cuddled up at a cozy corner table. Josh couldn't wipe the grin off his face, so I knew something was up.

About halfway through the delicious dessert, he held my left hand and took off the cocktail ring I was wearing. When my confused eyes met his, I could see the candle light reflecting in the tears brimming in his baby blues. Before I knew it, out of my mouth comes, "Don't do it!". He asked what I meant and I blurted, "Don't propose!". He chuckled, told me not to worry and reached into his pocket and pulled out something delicate and very shiny.

A ring with diamonds, but not a diamond ring. I loved it. He told me I have his heart. I adore him. Luckiest girl in the world.

....and then my car broke down.

Life has a way of keeping you humble, doesn't it? I seem to go from floating on clouds to bawling my eyes out in seconds, I'm very stable that way. In any matter, my car is not dead. Tauri the Taurus lives to fight another day...with a brand new water pump expertly installed by Joshua's older brother. I live a charmed life, folks. I am blessed beyond imagination and always provided for.

I have a flare for the dramatic, as evidenced by most of my posts on this blog ;-) I wish I would have handled the the car situation better instead of letting stress and thoughts of dollar signs dancing in my head overtake the happy moment I was given. All I can say is that I'm working on it, I am always learning and trying to improve myself, luckily I have a man in my life who loves me "for [my] mess", as he describes it. That's more than enough for me =)

Here are some photos from our very eventful evening out:

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Songs:

"Maybe I'm Amazed" Paul McCartney

Behold! The healing power of Date Night.

The [AMAZING] boyfriend took me to dinner at JTK in the Haymarket this past weekend. Fabulous idea, if I do say so myself! We ate, we drank, we laughed, we made out like teenagers. Good times had by all. Afterwards, we took a little stroll to The Mill and Josh sipped his classic coffee while I enjoyed a perfectly frothy latte. So far, I'm a big fan of getting back to the basics.

Evidence of happiness is as follows:

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Photos: Some straight off the camera phone, others edited on Picnik. I'm sure you can tell the difference ;-)

Songs:

"Anything but Mine" Kenny Chesney

"Let it be Me" Ray LaMontagne

Back to Basics

Joshua and I have decided to start dating, which makes sense...because we're dating. Confused? Let me explain.

Now is a time of my life for assessment. Since I am clearly going to be in school until I DIE, I'm letting that one go for now. I'll just perpetually enroll in classes until they give me a diploma because they're sick of my face. Work is slowly sucking the life out of me as well, but for good reasons. This whole having two jobs, no day off and a microscopic social life thing is exhausting, but I know it will pay off in the long run.

This is the time of my life to work too hard, save as much as possible and prepare for the future. I'm getting Kindermusik at the Daycare center, which is amazing! I truly feel that God answers prayers in the most unexpected ways. I get to spend all day every day doing what I love to do and getting paid for it. Working with children is the most rewarding thing I have ever experienced, and has always been my calling. I don't know why I ever left the business...but it's so good to be back!

Due to the conflicts and conversations Josh & I have been having lately, we have decided to get back to basics. Because we have history, it was easy to fall fast. We quickly skipped past courtship and dove headfirst into the 'comfort zone' that comes with a long term relationship. The problem is, this isn't really all that long term at this point. Depending on which of us you ask, we've been together for 6-8 months. I don't place too much value on the actual date we started dating, because I have an inkling I could spend a big chunk of my life with this man and when you're thinking in terms of forever, who needs to count?

Getting back to my point...back to basics. We're making a conscious effort to get out more. We've slipped into a pattern of work, school/more work, meet at my place, play with the puppy, eat (whatever I'm cooking/ordering for) dinner, smooch, sleep, repeat. Although we don't actually cohabitate, we are in essence, living together. Not really having meaningful conversations, not doing anything in terms of quality time; just going through life, but at least we're doing it together. It's given us a pseudo-sense of closeness but when conflicts arise, I realize I don't know this man as well as I thought.

The solution? Date Night. It gives both of us a break from the chaos of the week, plus it reminds Joshua that I actually do own clothing other than uniforms and pajamas. I'm excited for this new, old-school chapter of our relationship...I think good things are on the way!

As always, I am ever reminded of the blessings I encounter daily. Thank you Lord for all you have given me, let me never take your generosity for granted!

If I could, I urge you to count your blessings this morning & have a great Monday!

-V

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Songs:

"Fallin' for You" Colbie Callait

"Mine" Taylor Swift

"Hands Down" Dashboard Confessional (acoustic version)

It's a sip of wine, it's the [spring]time!

Josh and I visited Slattery Vintage Estates this past week for a wine tasting and a wonderful afternoon. We're starting a new thing; working on spontaneity. If you know me at all, you know that I'm a planner. I make pro and con lists and to-do lists and always look (from every possible angle...twice) before I leap. Joshua once decided to drive 5 hours just to go to White Castle at crazy o'clock in the morning. We are so not two peas. I love it! In effort to keep things interesting, I thought we should try planning dates for each other. It can be a surprise, or not, but whatever one person chooses, the other person has to go along with.

I decided, after much research and planning, that my first Satur-date would be to a Vineyard and Tasting Room about an hour outside of town. Slattery is in Nehawka, Nebraska, a small town outside of Omaha. Josh and I loaded into Tauri the taurus, and made our way down the highway (Tauri doesn't like the Interstate). It actually only took us a little over half an hour and we were there, ready to get our sip on. =-) We sampled 5 wines from across the state and chose a glass of our favorite red, Ninth Harvest.

I knew Joshua was sold on the place when the owner's daughter came out and started talking about a new kind of beer they were stocking called Purple Haze. We took our glass of wine to the outdoor seating and ordered a bowl of french onion soup, which I will have to learn how to make now because he loved it so much. It was absolutely delicious. I must say, with the combo of the blue sky, his blue shirt, and those eyes, my man was looking pretty delicious himself. As I've said before, I am a lucky girl. Sitting across from Joshua on a breezy, sunny day with a good glass of wine in my hand, the same thought kept running through my mind.

I could get used to this.

Grape-less Vines at the Vineyard

We have a very short growing season in the Neb so only a few varieties of grapes can be grown here, that's why most Nebraska wines are sweet. To all of you wine snobs out there-Don't knock it till you've tried it! All of the wines we sampled were delicious!

Our favorite semi-sweet red, from Silver Hills Winery in Tekamah, NE.

soft goat cheese+tomato basil parmesan+salami+olive tampanade=

Yummy hors d'oeuvres tray =)

Sunshine+Glass of Wine+Gorgeous Vineyard=

Happy Couple =)

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Songs:

"Heard it Through The Grapevine" Marvin Gaye

"Summertime" Kenny Chesney

the dating vows.

I will not trade intimacy for an orgasm.

I will learn from my past, not relive it.

I believe attraction and relationships are an opportunity to be blessed, and be a blessing to someone else.

I want to be loved with respectful adoration, not lustful desire.

I want to love with admiration and respect, and to be submissive and have a servant's heart, not just to fulfill some fantasy-driven gender role, but because I want to be used by God to be an earthly example of His unyielding love.

I want to be your support system, but not your crutch. Above all, I want the Lord to be my rock and yours as well.

I want us to build each other up and always be held accountable not only to each other, but to our God.

I want pleasure to come from a place of innocence and true love, not sinfulness and greed.

I must be careful with my words and actions and keep my motivations pure.

I will pray for wisdom, faith and trust. Especially for trust.

I struggle with fear and trust. I immerse myself in doubt and worry. I need to learn to let go of my constant need to know.

I can't predict the outcome of our relationship, or your actions, but I can control my actions.

Pride must be banished from my vocabulary. I should remind myself daily of the rich blessings I have been given and vow to try in earnest to be a blessing to those around me.

-V

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Songs:

"Better Life" Keith Urban

Oh so RETRO

Have you ever noticed how fashion trends move in cycles? A trend is in style, then becomes out of style, and if you wait long enough, voila! In style again. Well, here's the thing;

The men in my life are like fashion.

I have those faithful few who have been with me through the good and bad times, and I can always count on them. I have been extremely blessed with some guys I met in my high school choir years, who I remain ridiculously close with to this day. I know I can call them anytime I need a laugh or a shoulder to cry on, or to be serenaded and treated like a princess. Those guys are my basic essentials; the little black dresses, great pair of jeans and stilettos of my life. Every girl needs 'em and I honestly don't know what I would do without them. (The men, not the clothes, I'm not that materialistic!)

Then, I have the flavor of the weeks. Guys I meet in bars who seem nice and funny until it's closing time and, "So...how about after hours?"...those would equate to the impulse purchase that seemed like a good idea at the time, but after the credit card slip is signed, immediate buyer's remorse sets in. Sunglasses a la Kanye West, anyone? I know you have them, too. Sometimes I wish men came with receipts, there's definitely a few of them I'd like to return if I had the chance. Store credit or cash back?

Another unfortunate fashion mishap, that item that looked great on the hanger, not so great in the dressing room, but I bought it anyways because, well, I can lose that extra inch by the time I want to wear this outfit...yeah, that never seems to happen, does it? Ladies, please buy clothes that fit, and for goodness sake, don't try and change yourself to "fit" a man, or the other way around. Listen, I'm a huge advocate for change, I do believe in rehabilitation, and that even the douche-iest of men has the capacity to change into that great guy you know he can be. Here's the thing though; just because he can, doesn't mean he will. In fact, odds are, even if he does have some miraculous transformation into Mr. Right, it'll have destroyed your relationship just in time for him to move on and treat the next girl he meets like a princess.

Case in point, I had an ex send me a text a couple months ago saying; "Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with." He then followed by texting; "Thanks for doing most of the stomping". He was trying to be funny, or maybe even cute, but my reaction was a resounding "F*#% You!". Thanks for doing most of the stomping? Really? You're welcome. You're welcome for spending years of my life believing that you could change, only to finally be done with it, break up, and have you call me a couple months later saying that it "dawned" on you that you were horrible to me and I was amazing to you? You're freaking welcome.

If I sound a little bitter, it's because I am, and lookie here, I've gone and strayed from my men are like fashion analogy. Getting back on topic...right now, I have a couple men in my life that are causing me some trouble; J and R. J is my vintage guy. We've known each other for ten years, and he's [almost] always been so good to me. He, of course, has his share of flaws, but you don't throw away a piece of vintage Chanel just because it has a few frays on the hemline. Then we have R. I really don't know what to say about R except that, he's Nice Guy #2 from a few of my previous posts. Now I'm thinking he might not be such a nice guy after all. I'm frazzled and confused, and beyond exhausted with trying to figure this whole thing out.

Why is it every time every time I finally get rid of a particular trend it comes right back around (Hello, 80's)? I find myself craving something new, something fresh, not just the same fads recycled over and over again. Anybody with me?

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Songs:

"Trainwreck" Elliot Yamin

"Maybe This Time" Cast of Glee feat. Kristin Chenoweth

"Heart Shaped Glasses" Marilyn Manson

[almost] Wordless Wednesday

He called.

The crush lives on.

-V

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Songs:

"Everyday Feels Like Sunday" Of Montreal

"Bliss" Muse

photo: I'm a dork.

a taste of my own medicine

Okay, darlings. Here's the scoop:

I have a crush, and I'm not talking about my imaginary love affair with Taye Diggs. Nope, I have a real-life, Kindergarten crush. The object of my affection? You guessed it, Nice Guy #2. Here's a little background info on His Niceness: First of all, he doesn't technically come in chronological order after Nice Guy #1. I actually met him almost a year ago, friend of a friend's friend, or something obscure like that. I remember it vividly because he had one of the strangest conversation starters...pickup lines ever. He simply walks up to me and asks, "Are you German?". Weird, right? Where do I find these guys? I mean, seriously, I'm like a magnet for the world's most random men.

Getting back to the story, I told him politely, no, I am in fact, not German, why does he ask? Why, because of my blonde hair and blue eyes, of course. (Nevermind the fact that my eyes are green...details, details.) How silly. Now, I generally think it's slightly creepy when a guy seems interested in women with the whole blonde hair/blue eyes/pale skin look...I think you see where I'm going with this. For some reason however, this guy seemed perfectly harmless, just another poor soul at the bar, using strange lines for lack of something better to say. Long story short, because he was a friend of a friend's grandmother's dog or whatever, we all ended up at the same house for after hours.

A few hours of complete normalcy ensued. At the end of the evening, my friend Renee and I both exchanged numbers with our new found friend, who was, of course, saved into my phone as "German". I'm actually pretty sure Renee never saved his number...but that's beside the point. Within a few days we were exchanging text messages and he had called me on more than one occasion, to ask me out. You have to understand something about me a year ago, folks. I was in no way looking for a relationship. I hadn't even begun to deal with my break-up, and pretty much anything that looked like a man, talked like a man, and walked like a man, was the enemy. Guys were only good for buying drinks and for the temporary boosting of my ego. I'm getting away from the topic again...apologies.

I turned him down, several times. For months it continued like this, we would go through times when I didn't hear from him at all, then he would text, we would talk for awhile, and I would come up with transparent excuses not to see him. I have no excuse for my actions, it's a mean-girl move to lead a guy on, and by never telling him I wasn't interested, that's exactly what I was doing (shame, shame on me). Once, I actually agreed to meet up with him, on what I think was supposed to be a date, but I turned it into a group thing, with a bunch of girls he didn't know. I believe there was even a night in which he ended up playing taxi driver for a bunch of my friends after a night at the piano bar. [Are you calling me a brat (or another choice word) under your breath right now? It's okay, I am too.]

As I type this, I realize just how much it boggles my mind that this man even gives me the time of day after all of the shenanigans I've pulled. Goodness, I'm a lucky girl. I blew him off for the better part of a year, and for some reason he hasn't given up on knowing me yet. He's respectful, and kind, and unbelievably patient. I just don't get it, I promise y'all, I'm not that cool.

Skipping forward, A couple of weeks ago, we reconnected while downtown celebrating another Husker victory (Go Big Red!). I was with a co-worker and we ran into him, they actually knew each other, (do you care about this?), yada yada yada... we met up with him at an after hours party. We talked all night. This guy has got to be the sweetest man I've ever met. It's the absolute best thing, to see that sparkle in his perfectly (yep, you guessed it) blue eyes, every time we speak. When I'm around him, I have a permanent grin. It makes me blush!

So what's with the title? Well here ya go. I'm currently dealing with a slight dose of my own medicine. Ever since that night a couple of weeks ago, we were in constant contact. He was quick with the pet names and compliments, and the strangest thing, I wasn't freaking out. Usually if you call me 'Babe', I'll tell you that I am not now, nor have I ever been, a small pink pig that herds sheep [movie reference]. But from his lips, I adore it. And speaking of those lips, yes we did, and yes it was the sweetest kiss in my recent memory. Crush, Crush, Crush.

Here's the issue. For the past few days I've heard nothing, which is fine. He actually hasn't responded to a couple of my text messages, which is also fine. I'm just getting antsy because I actually like this guy. He's got me kinda hooked. I'm being silly, and I know it. People get busy, and at the end of the day, If I go a week without hearing from him, I absolutely deserve it. It never bothered me in the past, in fact, I never noticed. But now that I'm back in Kindergarten, with this giggle-inducing, cheek-flushing crush, I'm over-analyzing everything. I'm nervous! Oh Goodness, what have I gotten myself into?

Now, I don't know if this is completely normal, a chronic case of bad timing, busy schedules, or just a little well deserved punishment, karma-style. All I know is, I could sure use a spoonful of sugar to go along with it. Where's Mary Poppins when you need her?

-V

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Songs:
"Crush" Jennifer Paige
"A Spoonful of Sugar" Julie Andrews as Mary Poppins
"Paperweight" Schuyler Fisk and Joshua Radin [still obsessed with Mr. Radin right now]

Image: ehow.com

A Thought on Dating: Why "Nice Guys" Finish Last.

Well, that was fast.

I'm sick of dating already. Too much game playing and drama, not enough that's real.

Over the past few weeks I have introduced a couple new characters into my life, both falling under the category of the elusive, "Nice Guy". Nice Guy #1 is a friend of my good friend's boyfriend. (Tracking with me?) They're one of those sickeningly happy couples who are still in the PDA, lovey-dovey, constantly-making-googly-eyes-at-each-other phase. Wanna know the crazy thing? I think they're actually going to make it. Usually I just roll my eyes and wait for reality to set in, but in this case, I think they're genuinely in love. Shocking, I know, but I digress.

So, my blissfully happy friends have been trying to set me up with Nice Guy #1 for awhile now; I've been single for long enough to get sick of being the odd person out, and well, he's just such a nice guy. While he's not exactly my "type" (if I have one), I figured I'd give it a shot. The next time we all went out for drinks, I let him buy me a gin and tonic and spent some time exchanging jokes and smiles. It was harmless enough, a little flirting, some shameless karaoke; good times had by all. He even asked for my number in a somewhat cheesy but cute way; "I'd be a fool if I didn't get your number..." Laugh if you will, but it worked, okay?

The next day I was feeling fairly optimistic, even more so when I received a phone call from him inviting me to a movie the following evening. I took this as a good sign because in my age bracket, it seems most men think it's okay to just send a text to ask me out for the first time [it's NOT]. So, after the ceremonial trying on of the contents of my closet and the hair up vs. down debate, I met this man for a movie. He barely greeted me. Okay, whatever, he was nervous, and he had arrived early and had a ticket waiting for me, so that was sweet. The situation didn't really improve from there, however. We sat semi-awkwardly next to each other during the movie and every once in awhile I would shoot a smile or a glance his way, only to find him staring at the screen with an uncomfortable look on his face. He was all fidget-y and just....well, weird. The kicker? After the movie, he didn't walk me to my car, he just gave me a strange side-hug, and left. Now, that's not very nice, is it? The movie was good, though.

Call me judgemental, but I was ready to write him off after that. There was clearly a lack of chemistry, or confidence, or something. I have discovered a new sub-division of the Nice Guy: Liquid Courage Man. The Liquid Courage Man is a nice guy who is lacking in self-confidence from years of rejection and can be witty, charming and outgoing, but only with a drink in hand. Very misleading. After a conversation with my friend Adam, in which he (lovingly) told me I was being a bitch, I decided to give him another chance. Guys get nervous, first dates can be awkward, and after all, he's such a nice guy, right?

Take 2: we met for drinks. Admittedly, not the best of ideas, but I figured I'd get him in his natural habitat and go from there. My goal was to make him feel comfortable and to see which personality was real. Unfortunately, my little experiment yielded similar results. I watched this "Nice Guy" transform from shy and quiet, into funny and confident in front of my eyes, drink by drink. The night started out with a supreme lack of eye contact, and ended with him trying (unsuccessfully) to take me home with him. Liquid Courage Man strikes again.

So what have we learned? The jury is still out on that one, but I have come to a [only semi-serious] conclusion. All of my guy friends are absolutely right. Girls do go for guys that are jerks. Wanna know why? Nice Guys can be misleading. They always leave you waiting for the other shoe to drop, for Dr. Jekyll to become Mr. Hyde. Bad Guys are predictable, in that you can always count on them to let you down. I guess in their inability to be dependable, they're actually kind of dependable. Confused yet? I know I am.

Next!

-V

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Yes, Nice Guy #1 refers to the fact that there is a Nice Guy #2. I'll tell you about him soon, I promise. Things are looking good [kinda]. =)

Songs:

"Another One Bites the Dust" Queen

"Nice Guys Finish Last" Cobra Starship

photo: from Tune Remedy

To Sir, with Love

Dear Mr. Right,

Hi, I'm Vanessa. 5'6'' in flats, long blonde hair, green eyes that like to pretend they're blue sometimes. I've been waiting for you for awhile, and I'm very excited to meet the man God has picked out especially for me. A few things you should know in the meantime;

• I'm slightly obsessed with music. I will most likely sing, loudly, and dance around like an idiot in public with you on several occasions.
• I sing harmony to the songs on the radio.
• I have many irrational phobias, the worst of which include; heights, feet, textured drinking glasses, needles, and Styrofoam.
• I have an unnatural attachment to my cell phone. I have been known to fall asleep cuddling it to my chest in lieu of a teddy bear. I'm working on it.
• I cry during movies, a lot. Actually, I just plain cry easily. If there's a particularly touching episode of Without a Trace on, break out the Kleenex.
• If you say Stop, I will say Hammertime. There's just no way around it.
• I love sushi, but I don't eat red meat, pork, or [cooked] fish.
• There is no such thing as a "short version" of one of my stories.
• My heart is spoken for.
• I love, love, LOVE Disney movies & movie musicals. (But oddly enough, not a big High School Musical fan, go figure.)
• I tend to be kind of nocturnal, which leads to much infomercial-watching. Yes, I have a Sham-Wow, and no, it doesn't work the way Vince, the Sham-Wow guy, says it does.
• I do & say some pretty sappy things sometimes, but what makes it even sappier is that I usually mean it, from the bottom of my heart.

I'll let you figure the rest out for yourself =). I'm not ready for you quite yet, but if you could start making your way over here, that would be just fabulous.

xoxo,

-V

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Songs:

"Wondering Where You Are" Tyrone Wells

"All the Way" Frank Sinatra

"If it Kills Me" Jason Mraz

photo credit: Open Salon

Fabulously [& Fashionably] Fall-ish

Fall is in full effect here in the Heartland.

I love everything about it-

Cozy layers, bold lipstick, plaid everything, checkered scarves!

My current obsessions? Black eyeliner à la Brigitte Bardot, apple red/coral lipstick, anything metallic, hot rollers (my hair is naturally pin-straight), and the Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks. So delicious & only 130 calories w/nonfat milk!

[above] My outfit for date-night last weekend. Yes, I'm dating again...very excited/nervous about this. Actually, I have a couple prospective beaus right now. Scandalous? Nah, just keeping my options open! I've decided that this time I'm setting my standards high, not giving as many chances. Try as I might, I don't think I'll ever be a 'one strike & you're out' girl. I'm way too interested in figuring out what makes people tick for that. I love a good people-puzzle, don't we all? But I'm working on being smarter. Not ignoring red flags or going against my instinct, which is usually right.

So, my dear reader, please join me in enjoying this wonderful season! Whether you're snuggling with your honey enjoying a movie and some festive coffee or tea, supporting your favorite college football team (Go Huskers), or going out on the town, decked in bold patterns and dramatic makeup; live it up! Before you know it, Winter will be upon us, bringing about days of snow-shoveling, toe-freezing coldness. Let's enjoy this amazing Autumn while we still can!

-V.O'Neel

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Song: "The Fear You Won't Fall" Joshua Radin (appropriate & Oh, so punny) =)

All photos edited using Picnik, a wonderful site for an insomniac such as I!