So there.

Baby, You and I

Really diggin' this tune right now. Most likely due to the Nebraska shout out and the fact that it's such a different style for her. I love my cool Nebraska guy, too.

Hope you're all having a great evening and safe and sound. It's a crazy world out there, folks. Natural disasters and terroristic threats abound. Josh and I are cozied up on the couch after a great workout at the boxing gym watching Craig Ferguson on CBS. What is your nightly ritual?

oh, Hi there!

...just sayin'.

xoxo,

V

Yet We Still Remain: a thought on soulmates

Joshua met his soul mate last night.

Aaron Lewis is the lead singer of Staind, and is the eerily similar to my guy. For example, one would expect rocker with a certain level of success to strut onto stage, drink in hand, and immediately start working the crowd...insert curse words here. This guy kind of slowly wanders onto the stage, hot tea in hand and admits, after a few casual strums of his scratched up guitar, that he's trying to figure out where to start. I bet he's still a bajillionaire.

I have to tell you, I was slightly thrown off by the whole thing. I'm not used to attending a concert where the crowd screams out requests to the artist and in between sips of his Fuji water and drags of his Marlboro Reds, he responds, "Really?" and then plays them. In fact, most of the songs he played last night were covers. Everything from "Nutshell" by Alice in Chains to (30 seconds of) "I Want It That Way" by the Backstreet Boys. It felt more like an open mic night than a concert. I can dig it.

The performance reminded me of the summer after my freshman year in college when I would sit in the garage of my high school friend's older brother and listen to my best friends in the entire world pass around the guitar and sing anything and everything. I was blessed to meet my soul mates in high school "singin' and dancin' class" back in 2003, still referred to as SDC. We bonded over a shared love for entertaining and being unabashedly obsessed and immersed in music. Through the years, we've kept in touch and our reunions, although increasingly infrequent, feel like we've never missed a beat.

Last night, we arrived at the casino a little earlier than was necessary and had ample time to waste a few dollars at the slot machines and eat an overpriced and under-seasoned dinner at the buffet before taking our place in line at the door. I stepped out of line for a moment and when I returned, Josh was making easy conversation with the two people waiting in line behind us. They were a brother and sister duo from Iowa, and huge Staind fans. Josh and the guy bonded instantly, mostly due to the ability men have to talk football stats with complete strangers. The fact that they were both sporting Red Sox caps probably didn't hurt either.

After a couple hours, we made our way into the convention room and sat next to these people we had only just met, talking with ease as if we were old friends. While waiting for Aaron to take stage, we traded stories and jokes; she showed me pictures of her young son and expressed how much she missed him, even though she was only going to be away for the night. Not to be shown up, I boasted my mobile pics of Penny the Puggle. Bask in the cuteness. During the concert, I looked over and saw tears streaming down her face and felt a genuine connection with this woman who, until hours before, was a stranger to me.

Music is a superpower. It communicates and unites us in ways that simple spoken word cannot. To me, there is nothing in the human experience that is so intimate as music.

At evening's end, we parted ways from our new found friends without exchanging numbers or last names; there was no need. I felt closer to Joshua and was reminded of all of the reasons why I love him. Aaron Lewis has been the soundtrack to our relationship, even before it began...but that's a post for another sleepless night. For me, this night was about more than the rekindling of my adoration for my boyfriend; I was reminded of my need for the innocent expression of music. It was a lesson for my soul.

There is reason in the random. I believe this life is more fated than accidental. I am not so closed minded to think that there is only one finite plan for each of us but rather, an ever-evolving path leading us to God and to one another. At this point, I haven't the wisdom or the inclination to say whether or not my beau and I will be meant for each other in the end. All I know is that for whatever reason, our journeys have intersected in a way that is unmistakably real. I've never known a love like this.

As I sit here typing this (excessively long) post, listening to the two songs he didn't play at the concert, I have only one thought running through my head. To my dearest friend, despite an uncertain future;

...how long has it been since this story line began?

And I hope it never ends

and goes like this forever...

---------------------------------

All photos personal

Songs:

"Vicious Circles"

"Country Boy"

"Epiphany"

-Aaron Lewis & Staind (duh) =)

Tuesday Tunes

"Love is a FRIENDSHIP set to MUSIC"

-Joseph Campbell

--------------------------------------------

Songs:

"Wonderwall" Ryan Adams

"Little Bit" Lykke Li ft. Drake

"Shelter" Ray LaMontagne

I have no words.

Just a heart overflowing and a song in my head.

• Hold You In My Arms by Ray LaMontagne

"When you came to me with your bad dreams and your fears

It was easy to see you'd been crying

Seems like everywhere you turn, catastrophe it reigns

But who really profits from the dying

I could hold you in my arms

I could hold you forever

I could hold you in my arms

I could hold you forever

When you kissed my lips with my mouth so full of questions

My worried mind that you quiet

Place your hands on my face

Close my eyes and say

That love is a poor man's food

Don't prophesize

I could hold you in my arms

I could hold you forever

And I could hold you in my arms

I could hold you forever

So now we see how it is

This fist begets the spear

Weapons of war

Symptoms of madness

Don't let your eyes refuse to see

Don't let your ears refuse to hear

Or you ain't never going to shake this sense of sadness

I could hold you in my arms

I could hold on forever

And I could hold you in my arms

I could hold on forever"

------------------------------------------------------

More Ray LaMontagne music on iLike

Silly Songs for your Saturday

I constantly have random songs playing in my head. I've often referred to my brain as an ipod on shuffle. I have no idea where they come from, but I try not to question it. Here are a few extremely random earworms I've been haunted by this week, enjoy!

"Major Tom" -Peter Schilling

"We Didn't Start the Fire" -Billy Joel

"They're Coming To Take Me Away" -Dr. Demento

"Tarzan and Jane" -Aqua (Toy Box)

Hurray for the WEEKEND! I'm going to meet Josh's father's family tonight...wish me luck!

xoxo,

V

Movie [Music] Monday

So, here’s how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, etc).
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press play.
4. For every question type the song that’s playing.
5. When you go to a new question press the next button.

Ready? GO!

Opening Credits:
"Somewhere over the Rainbow" Iz Kamikawiwo'ole

Waking Up:
"New Born" Muse

Falling In Love:
"Can You Stand the Rain" Boyz II Men

Fight Song:
"Bliss" Muse [Hmmm...]

Breaking Up:

"Thank You For the Music" Abba [I guess I'll be keeping those CD's...LOL]

Make-up:

"Big Shot" Billy Joel

Life’s Okay:
"The Garden" Mirah

Mental Breakdown:
"Everyday Feels Like Sunday" Of Montreal

Driving:
"Feeling Good" Muse

Flashback:
"Never Gonna Be Alone" Nickelback [awwwww]

Happy Dance:
"Little Wonders" Rob Thomas

Regretting:
"Human Nature" Michael Jackson

Final Battle:
"Mr. Sandman" The Chordettes.....ummmmm

Death Scene:
"Right Here" Staind

Make-Out Scene:
"May it Be" Enya

Ending Credits:
"Nice Guys Finish Last" Cobra Starship

--------------------------------------------------

Yeah...I listen to a lot of Muse. You should too, duh!

Hope everyone is having a fabulous Monday, xoxo!

-V

(I'm not listing any songs because, well...they're pretty much all already on this playlist!)

This I Believe

For my Composition class, I was asked to read articles from the National Public Radio's recurring segment, This I Believe. 'This I Believe' is based on a 1950's radio program which gave celebrities and average joes alike, the opportunity to share their opinions and life experiences. I poured over essays written by Helen Keller, Eleanor Roosevelt, Harry Truman, and many others. Then, I came across a sentiment which struck a chord with me;

"I believe in the human race. I believe in the warm heart. I believe in man’s integrity. I believe in the goodness of a free society. And I believe that the society can remain good only as long as we are willing to fight for it—and to fight against whatever imperfections may exist."

-Jackie Robinson

from his essay,

"Free Minds and Hearts at Work"

These powerful words got me thinking; What do I believe? I believe in God, yes, but not everyone can relate to faith in a Christian God. Everyone has their own interpretation of what 'faith' means to them. Certainly though, there is a belief or idea that is universal, something we can all share, regardless of denomination, race or gender. I mulled the idea over in my head and, as I usually do to pass the time, I opened my playlist and pressed shuffle. Then it hit me. I'd like to say I had an epiphany, but it was more of a 'duh' than an 'Aha' moment.

I believe in Music.

I believe in the power of music to heal. I have witnessed firsthand the ability of an instrument or song to give meaning to a feeling or situation, when spoken word can not. When I was going to college in Texas, I worked with a six year old boy, Malik, who was autistic. It was a daily struggle to get him to make eye contact, speak, or connect with me, and also with his fellow classmates. Malik would throw tantrums and scream for hours on end, simply because he was trying desperately to communicate to me what he needed or wanted or felt, but his efforts were lost in translation. When his frustration would give way to physical fits of throwing things and hitting me, I would have to restrain him to keep him from hurting himself or others.

On one particular day, his tantrum had lasted well over the hour mark and I was becoming exhausted, I was almost in tears and had nearly run out of ideas of how to calm him. To this day, I don't know where the idea came from but I started humming 'Amazing Grace'. He immediately quieted. It was then I realized the power of music to bring people together. Although I couldn't understand what he was trying to tell me, and he couldn't understand that I was just trying to calm him, we both understood music. We both knew the comfort of the familiar tune, and each of us had positive memories tied to it.

I believe that the people of this earth are more alike than we are different. Listen, I'm not saying that music is the healing force that will end the wars and bring about peace on earth. I'm not saying that all differences are resolvable and if we just hold hands and sway, singing together in four-part harmonies, there would be no conflict. I simply believe that if we all focus on the simple things in life that bind us together, the shared experiences, it would be a lot easier to relate to one another. Instead of focusing on the differences which may frighten or concern us, I believe we should fix our gaze on the similarities all tenants of our planet share.

-V.O'Neel

-----------------------------------------------------

Songs:

"Over the Rainbow" Iz Kamakawiwo'ole

"I Believe" Blessid Union of Souls

photo credit: www.greenoptions.com

I'm ready.

One of my favorite things about music, it that it speaks when you can not. There are so many times when a certain situation will render me speechless, and I will turn to my piano or my radio to give me words. I'm sure everyone can relate. If you are a regular reader of my blog; first of all, thank you, and secondly, you know that I chatter quite a bit about relationships and love. I've been trying to put into words how I feel about my past, what I'm experiencing now, and what I hope for my future. Sometimes though, I fail. Enter Billy Joel.

In every heart there is a room
A sanctuary safe and strong
To heal the wounds from lovers past
Until a new one comes along

I spoke to you in cautious tones
You answered me with no pretense
And still I feel I said too much
My silence is my self defense

And every time I've held a rose
It seems I only felt the thorns
And so it goes, and so it goes
And so will you soon I suppose

But if my silence made you leave
Then that would be my worst mistake
So I will share this room with you
And you can have this heart to break

And this is why my eyes are closed
It's just as well for all I've seen
And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows

So I would choose to be with you
That's if the choice were mine to make
But you can make decisions too
And you can have this heart to break

And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows

For some reason this morning, I felt it was important that I share this with you, my dear reader. I am ready for new. I am ready for new experiences, new people, new challenges, new love. I am ready to open up again, I think I can take it. I am ready to leap into situations unknown, to put my faith in my God and trust that I will land on my feet, or He will catch me. All I can do is keep breathing, place one foot in front of the other, and live my life as best as I can. Will I stumble? Most certainly. I do know however, that eventually I will figure it all out, and I will make sense of this hodgepodge of a life I've got going.

So, what am I looking for? I'm looking for a career in which I feel fulfilled. A job that is more than a job, somewhere I can help. I'm looking for someone who not only accepts me despite my past, but because of it. A person who can love the pieces of my being, and also the completion. For the first time in a long time, I actually have faith that I will obtain all of these things. For the first time in a long time, I truly believe that I deserve them.
------------------------------------------------
Songs:
"And So it Goes" Billy Joel
"Use Somebody" Kings of Leon
"The Way I Am" Ingrid Michaelson

...and so she would play.

Another bad day today.
Another fear realized,
another White Knight fallen.

A weight builds on her shoulder,
too heavy to ignore.
Her dark green eyes
were brimming with tears,

too many to blink away...

...and so she would play.

Clumsy fingers on cracked ivory,
spilling furiously over the keys.
Fingertips pressing into the old wood,
plunking out unwritten songs
of waking dreams and memories.

Love unrequited brings
heartbreak, and pain.
With no resolution,
prayers seem unanswered,
her questions remain.

But music is easy,
a melody can heal.
Words failed and tears fell;
life threatened
to steal her smile away...

...and so she would play.

-------------------------------------

Author's Note: VERY rough draft. But it stems from my memories of playing my old piano (pictured above). I still think there's an escape and a release found in playing the piano. No words are necessary, you can just let your fingers and the keys do the speaking. Isn't music the greatest? =)

-V. O'Neel

Songs:

"Bella's Lullaby" Carter Burwell (although I don't think this is from the soundtrack)

"Lullaby, (Goodnight My Angel)" Billy Joel

I bless the rains down in Africa...

The other night I had THE BEST driving experience possible. I roll in a supafly '97 Ford Taurus, so I don't have a CD player...or even a cassette player in my car. =) Therefore, I am at the mercy of the radio DJs for my auditory enjoyment.

While driving home from work I heard my two of my favorite driving songs of all time-in a row! Driving songs to me are a big deal. They're the tunes that I enjoy best when I'm in my car alone or with a close friend, and I can just crank up the volume and rock out! I've been thinking about the first one for awhile. It's "Africa" by Toto. Freakin' gnarly song. I have no idea why, but it's exactly the type of tune I can seriously groove out to. And I did. I turned the key just as the first chords started to play. Score! My poor little Tori's (that's what I call my car, Tori, Taurus, get it?) speakers were about to bust out. Good times.

Next, I glance out the window (at a red light of course, safety first!) and notice that it's a full moon tonight. My musician's brain immediately thinks that I need to hear Werewolves of London. Guess which song played next? I swear to you. Awooo! Werewolves of London. Hand on the Bible. My life was complete for the next four minutes. I guarantee the person at the stoplight next to me thought I was having a seizure or something. I couldnt've cared less.

As I arrived home, I decided that I've been taking life too seriously of late. I haven't been taking adequate time to stop and appreciate the little happinesses that make life worth living. Yes, I'm a HUGE dork for getting so excited about quite possibly two of the most random songs ever playing back-to-back. But LIFE is random. It makes no sense sometimes. And the sooner we realize this, stop trying to control EVERYTHING and try to just go with the flow, the better off we will be.

So, that's my epiphany of the week. Not exactly Ghandi-level stuff, but it'll do.
xoxo

----------------------------------------

Song: "Africa" Toto

music saves my soul

stumbled upon this somewhere in this worldwide web...thought it was neat =)