Tuesday, December 15, 2009


Have you ever noticed how fashion trends move in cycles? A trend is in style, then becomes out of style, and if you wait long enough, voila! In style again. Well, here's the thing;

The men in my life are like fashion.

I have those faithful few who have been with me through the good and bad times, and I can always count on them. I have been extremely blessed with some guys I met in my high school choir years, who I remain ridiculously close with to this day. I know I can call them anytime I need a laugh or a shoulder to cry on, or to be serenaded and treated like a princess. Those guys are my basic essentials; the little black dresses, great pair of jeans and stilettos of my life. Every girl needs 'em and I honestly don't know what I would do without them. (The men, not the clothes, I'm not that materialistic!)

Then, I have the flavor of the weeks. Guys I meet in bars who seem nice and funny until it's closing time and, "So...how about after hours?"...those would equate to the impulse purchase that seemed like a good idea at the time, but after the credit card slip is signed, immediate buyer's remorse sets in. Sunglasses a la Kanye West, anyone? I know you have them, too. Sometimes I wish men came with receipts, there's definitely a few of them I'd like to return if I had the chance. Store credit or cash back?

Another unfortunate fashion mishap, that item that looked great on the hanger, not so great in the dressing room, but I bought it anyways because, well, I can lose that extra inch by the time I want to wear this outfit...yeah, that never seems to happen, does it? Ladies, please buy clothes that fit, and for goodness sake, don't try and change yourself to "fit" a man, or the other way around. Listen, I'm a huge advocate for change, I do believe in rehabilitation, and that even the douche-iest of men has the capacity to change into that great guy you know he can be. Here's the thing though; just because he can, doesn't mean he will. In fact, odds are, even if he does have some miraculous transformation into Mr. Right, it'll have destroyed your relationship just in time for him to move on and treat the next girl he meets like a princess.

Case in point, I had an ex send me a text a couple months ago saying; "Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with." He then followed by texting; "Thanks for doing most of the stomping". He was trying to be funny, or maybe even cute, but my reaction was a resounding "F*#% You!". Thanks for doing most of the stomping? Really? You're welcome. You're welcome for spending years of my life believing that you could change, only to finally be done with it, break up, and have you call me a couple months later saying that it "dawned" on you that you were horrible to me and I was amazing to you? You're freaking welcome.

If I sound a little bitter, it's because I am, and lookie here, I've gone and strayed from my men are like fashion analogy. Getting back on topic...right now, I have a couple men in my life that are causing me some trouble; J and R. J is my vintage guy. We've known each other for ten years, and he's [almost] always been so good to me. He, of course, has his share of flaws, but you don't throw away a piece of vintage Chanel just because it has a few frays on the hemline. Then we have R. I really don't know what to say about R except that, he's Nice Guy #2 from a few of my previous posts. Now I'm thinking he might not be such a nice guy after all. I'm frazzled and confused, and beyond exhausted with trying to figure this whole thing out.

Why is it every time every time I finally get rid of a particular trend it comes right back around (Hello, 80's)? I find myself craving something new, something fresh, not just the same fads recycled over and over again. Anybody with me?

"Trainwreck" Elliot Yamin
"Maybe This Time" Cast of Glee feat. Kristin Chenoweth
"Heart Shaped Glasses" Marilyn Manson


Jen | Large Format Posters said...

Your ex was probably trying to be, er, humbly thankful for all you've put up with him before. But yeah, there's no good way to say it!

OmegaRadium said...

Like you and your ex, my ex shaped me into a better, more "dateable" male. I'm really appreciative of her efforts, but the thing is...she liked the old me more than the new me, or maybe she just likes fix-me uppers. Who knows!

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