What's that you say?

You want to see some more pics of Penny the Puggle? Well, if you insist...

Penny likes to show off her blinged out collar!

....just kidding, she hates it, actually.

Penny wants her puggle snuggles!

This is how she sleeps when she's reeeeeeally tired =)

Happy Memorial Day! As we remember those we've lost in service to our country, I hope you are spending it with the ones you love, I know I will be!

-V

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Songs:

"Pennies from Heaven" Lois Prima

"Penny and Me" Hanson (yup, Hanson.)

Holy Haircut, Batman

Okay, so there's something you should know about me.

I don't handle change well. I have a little bit of a control issue, and I don't like it when things happen that I either couldn't prevent, or just didn't see coming.

Lately, life has been more than slightly nutzo. I got a puppy on Friday (my b-day), an MRI on Saturday, and put my two weeks notice in at my current job on Sunday. Busy weekend, to say the least. And mainly because of the health issues I've been dealing with for the past few months, and just the general feeling of not knowing what's been going on, I've felt like I'm not in control of my body, my emotions, my life! I've been focusing on the things I can change, the things I do have control over. Thus, I decided to get a haircut today. I made an appointment at the salon and I was super excited, just wanted to get a little trim and get some shorter, side-swept bangs. Nothing drastic, just a little something new.

K, well I am now minus eight inches. Eight. I asked for 3-4 to be cut off, just so it would be lighter and more manageable for summer. My stylist, whom I have always been pleased with, got a little scissor happy I guess, I don't know. Bottom line; my hair is too freakin' short. And I, being the change-phob that I am, well, I'm not super chill about it. I cried. Like Julia freakin' Roberts in Steel Magnolias. Don't worry, I waited until I was in my car with my sunglasses on before I had my irrational meltdown. My mother would be proud.

Alright, I'm done being a baby now. Hair grows back, and I have a lot of good things going on right now. Sometimes I think these little curve balls are thrown our way in life so that we can learn a lesson in humility. I have food. I get to eat every single day. I don't have to worry about having clean water to drink or money to pay the bills (unless I overindulge in a little retail therapy that month), I have love in my life and family and friends and an adorable puppy. I am blessed beyond blessed, and although my life may be a stressful right now, I do have faith that there is a plan for me and God has some good things up his sleeve. I'll get the MRI results back soon, and we'll go from there. New job=good. New puppy=good. New haircut=whatever. Life goes on. We'll file this under ridiculous things I've cried over lately.

Mantra of the week: Glass half full. Embrace the change. Suppress the crazy.

-V

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Songs:

"I am not my hair" India.Arie

Nobody likes you when you're 23...

...except for my gorgeous girl, Penny!

Friday was my birthday. So, now I'm 23, I think that's how birthdays work; you survive for 365 days, and they give you another tally mark. Instead of spending my birthday out with friends as I usually do, I spent it at my parent's house with my family and Joshua...and baby Penny the Puggle! Josh and I left at the crack of 10:30 to make the nearly two hour drive to Grand Island, NE to meet the breeder. We listened to oldies and smiled the whole way, I couldn't wait to meet my puppy!

The breeder asked us to meet her at the Walmart "off the first exit" whatever that means, I don't speak Interstate, so I just drove into town until I found a Walmart. Honestly, it felt kind of like a drug deal....I handed her the cash, she handed me the dog. In the parking lot. Of a Walmart. Nevertheless, Penny the Puggle is here and she is the cutest thing ever and has such a sweet temperament. She is very friendly and loves to play with everyone, but she definitely prefers to cuddle with her momma =)

I love our little family!

On the car ride home

Too cute, right?

Look at her little wrinkles!

Playing with her favorite chew toy, it's a pacifier...cuz she's a baby =-)

Well, Happy Monday, everybody! Penny Lane and I are going to take a nap before I head off to my afternoon class and work! I hope your weekend was filled with as much love as mine was!

xoxo,

V

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Songs:

"What's My Age Again?" Blink 182

"Say Aah" Trey Songz feat Fabolous

Oh the times, they are a-changin'

It's gonna be a busy rest of the week, y'all!

*New puppy.

*New residence.

*New age. (Happy Birthday to meeeee)

*New something else that I can't tell you about yet ;-)

Mantra of the week: New is good. Embrace the new.

Bam! Bring it on, life!

xoxo,

V

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Songs:

"Times They are a-Changin'" Bob Dylan (duh)

I'm gonna be a mommy!

Well...kind of.

As of Friday, May 21, which happens to be my 23rd birthday, I will be the super proud owner of a little baby girl puggle (pug and beagle mix) puppy! Josh and I have named her Penny and I can't wait to meet her! She is coming to me from Sappa Creek Puppies, in Beaver City, NE. Lois at Sappa Creek had been very kind in answering all of my first time puppy parent questions, of which there have been many.

I wanted to know what kind of food to buy, so that she wouldn't have tummy troubles when I brought her home, I wanted to know how many litters her mother has per year, because I am ever leery of the dreaded puppy mill. She answered all of my questions and gave me a reference to call from her previous litter so I could ask about the temperament of the puppies. My fears have been assuaged, puppy supplied ordered, and my deposit is in the mail. I am so excited for next week!

Penny already has a license with her name on it,

thanks to the sweetest boyfriend on the planet.

Meet Penny the Puggle (pictured here at 4 weeks)

More to come!

-V

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Songs:

"Penny Lane" The Beatles (her namesake, because I had that song stuck in my head all night when Joshua and I were discussing puppy names)

It's a sip of wine, it's the [spring]time!

Josh and I visited Slattery Vintage Estates this past week for a wine tasting and a wonderful afternoon. We're starting a new thing; working on spontaneity. If you know me at all, you know that I'm a planner. I make pro and con lists and to-do lists and always look (from every possible angle...twice) before I leap. Joshua once decided to drive 5 hours just to go to White Castle at crazy o'clock in the morning. We are so not two peas. I love it! In effort to keep things interesting, I thought we should try planning dates for each other. It can be a surprise, or not, but whatever one person chooses, the other person has to go along with.

I decided, after much research and planning, that my first Satur-date would be to a Vineyard and Tasting Room about an hour outside of town. Slattery is in Nehawka, Nebraska, a small town outside of Omaha. Josh and I loaded into Tauri the taurus, and made our way down the highway (Tauri doesn't like the Interstate). It actually only took us a little over half an hour and we were there, ready to get our sip on. =-) We sampled 5 wines from across the state and chose a glass of our favorite red, Ninth Harvest.

I knew Joshua was sold on the place when the owner's daughter came out and started talking about a new kind of beer they were stocking called Purple Haze. We took our glass of wine to the outdoor seating and ordered a bowl of french onion soup, which I will have to learn how to make now because he loved it so much. It was absolutely delicious. I must say, with the combo of the blue sky, his blue shirt, and those eyes, my man was looking pretty delicious himself. As I've said before, I am a lucky girl. Sitting across from Joshua on a breezy, sunny day with a good glass of wine in my hand, the same thought kept running through my mind.

I could get used to this.

Grape-less Vines at the Vineyard

We have a very short growing season in the Neb so only a few varieties of grapes can be grown here, that's why most Nebraska wines are sweet. To all of you wine snobs out there-Don't knock it till you've tried it! All of the wines we sampled were delicious!

Our favorite semi-sweet red, from Silver Hills Winery in Tekamah, NE.

soft goat cheese+tomato basil parmesan+salami+olive tampanade=

Yummy hors d'oeuvres tray =)

Sunshine+Glass of Wine+Gorgeous Vineyard=

Happy Couple =)

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Songs:

"Heard it Through The Grapevine" Marvin Gaye

"Summertime" Kenny Chesney

My Mom is AWESOME.

She taught me everything I know. Seriously. I'm good with kids, because she's good with kids. I've been involved with music my whole life, because she exposed me to it at a young age. I sing, because she sings. I never thought I would be one of those people who turned into their mother...but I so am. Lately, I'm completely embracing it. She has passed some of her best talents and skills onto me, and there are many more that I am only know learning and coming to admire.

My mother is the most patient and understanding woman I have ever known, hands down. For example, this morning I woke up with a fever and super sore throat...I'm freakin' sick! I drove over to my parents' house because my sister and I had planned to cook her the annual breakfast in bed before church. I supplied the orange juice, I figured that was the least germ-spreading thing I could do. I bought her a corsage to pin to her top before church, but unfortunately I am here typing this blog instead of sitting at church with my family. Boo! But, my Madre isn't mad or disappointed that I'm throwing off the routine, nope. I asked if it would upset her if I stayed home from church and she told me "Not at all. Whatever you think is best."

When I was in elementary school, we had a little fake printing press in the library at the school. We would write our stories, illustrate them, fill out the "About the Author" pages, and send themoff to be bound and laminated. One of the stories we were asked to write early on, was the typical "When I Grow Up" stories usually found in most primary school classrooms. I still remember exactly what I wrote. My classmates wrote about how they wanted to be doctors, veterinarians, astronauts, firefighters, and the like. They described how they would be rich and famous, drive fancy cars and buy houses, and become the President of the United States.

My entry was simple;

"When I grow up, I want to be a Mommy."

Thank you Mom, for all that you do. I am ever grateful to you and Dad for raising me with faith, and love, and instilling the values that have made me the person I am today. I know that everything I am and everything I will become in my life is because of you, and your strength and wisdom. I love you, Madre, have a wonderful day! I owe you a hug when I am less contagious ;-)

xoxo,

V

Better.

Dear Airman,

I read your words with tears in my eyes.

3 days.

I don't know how to feel; am I supposed to be happy? I am proud of you for starting your journey, but I keep waiting for that exhale of relief to let me know it's over for me. No longer will our paths cross. You have yours, and I, mine.

I should be glad. You have someone else, and so do I, and he's better than you. We're better off, you and I. In our hearts we always knew it would turn out this way, didn't we? You didn't think you ever could...and I knew you would, just not with me. You thought you were irrevocably broken, and I knew you weren't. Some hearts aren't fixable, but yours was, once the ice melted. I like being right but this time, the satisfaction is missing. I don't like it. Not at all.

Sometimes, I think I wasted the best of me on you. Sometimes, I don't. Sometimes, I think the best is ahead of me; that I will be rewarded for my patience, for my pain. Sometimes, I think it was all meaningless, unnecessary drama that played itself out for far too long. Some nights, I think I will love you until the day I die, some days, I think I never did.

I should want you far away, shouldn't I? Unable to reach me and send me crashing down again. You always knew how to stop my world from turning, and make me lose my footing and forget myself. But then again, you also knew how to kiss me, and stop my heart for a moment, keep my feet from touching ground and forget to breathe. Crash, Burn, Kiss, Cry, Repeat.

So am I glad? Proud? Sad? Bitter? No. I don't know how I feel, and yet the tears come. I've cried oceans over you.

My head screams. Love me! Accept me! Want me! Please don't leave yet, I don't know how I feel. I'm desperate, in need of something... Retribution? Revenge? Forgiveness?

Forgiveness. I've failed. Took on your troubles when I should have pointed you to God. Made myself your savior, and you, I made you my idol. Cast my heart into your hands, whether you liked it or not. Time made fools of us all.

Do you remember the time...

There was a pink light casting rosy shadows across your face.

One in your ear one in mine, and we listened.

-You and I will meet again-

All I remember are kisses and tears, and an inside joke I'll never forget.

(Don't...)

Being happy hurts, sometimes. Like I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Will he turn into you; is it just a matter of time? If I let him lift me up so high, does that just mean I have farther to fall? It keeps me up at night.

I know there was truth in us, I know my motives were pure. In my heart, I know I always did everything I could do, and too much at that. But if the end result is this; this ache in my chest, this empty burn...I don't want it anymore.

If life makes strangers turned lovers into best friends and then to strangers again, then we're all better off alone.

There is something wrong with me, I think. I guess I can't let go- of love, of hurt, of shame, of fear. I carry it all, and the weight is getting too heavy.

But this man, he holds my heart in his strong hands. He has given back my smile. He wipes black tears from my eyes and kisses my forehead. He says I'm stronger, better, for it all. He carries me, and the more I lean, the more I learn, I can stand on my own.

So, go now, love. Make your mark on this world. Keep your fire, your determination to prove them all wrong, to make your father proud. You are your brothers' hero, make sure your actions follow accordingly. Prayer will keep you grounded, so pray. Be thankful for the friendships you've had, although some will fall away. The ones who matter will still be there. Kiss your girl, but not too hard, for it's the tender ones you'll remember when you need them most. Let her give you strength, and don't hold back for fear that she may fail. You deserve the world, so take it. Be prepared. Amazing things are headed your way.

If I could ask one thing of you, think of me fondly, if you think of me at all. Remember how I loved you, and know that I always will. We were broken, you and I, but now at last it seems, we're better.

Always,

V

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Songs:

"The Call" Regina Spektor

"Into the West" Annie Lennox

[almost] Wordless Wednesday

Dear people,

I love spring. That is all.

xoxo,

V

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Songs:

"Wrapped Up In You" Garth Brooks