Monday, April 25, 2011

So, how was your day?

Artwork by one of my kiddos. "miss vanessa the freak-out-a-saurus". I do not heart mondays and cars dying. Sad face.
Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

Sunday, April 24, 2011

He is risen, indeed.

Every day is a chance to start anew. Just because I've failed in the past, doesn't make me a hypocrite for recognizing flaws in the morality of my generation and striving for something more. We have been offered Grace, whether or not we choose to accept Him is up to us. I want to be set apart, not in the aggressive, elitist manner exhibited by many "christians", but separated from fear and pride; I want a heart which seeks to point people to my God through actions more than word. This is my plea and the cry of my heart from the bottom of a soul desperately in need of saving. We are blessed beyond blessed, whether we realize it or not.
Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Yet We Still Remain: a thought on soulmates

Joshua met his soul mate last night.

Aaron Lewis is the lead singer of Staind, and is the eerily similar to my guy. For example, one would expect rocker with a certain level of success to strut onto stage, drink in hand, and immediately start working the crowd...insert curse words here. This guy kind of slowly wanders onto the stage, hot tea in hand and admits, after a few casual strums of his scratched up guitar, that he's trying to figure out where to start. I bet he's still a bajillionaire.

I have to tell you, I was slightly thrown off by the whole thing. I'm not used to attending a concert where the crowd screams out requests to the artist and in between sips of his Fuji water and drags of his Marlboro Reds, he responds, "Really?" and then plays them. In fact, most of the songs he played last night were covers. Everything from "Nutshell" by Alice in Chains to (30 seconds of) "I Want It That Way" by the Backstreet Boys. It felt more like an open mic night than a concert. I can dig it.

The performance reminded me of the summer after my freshman year in college when I would sit in the garage of my high school friend's older brother and listen to my best friends in the entire world pass around the guitar and sing anything and everything. I was blessed to meet my soul mates in high school "singin' and dancin' class" back in 2003, still referred to as SDC. We bonded over a shared love for entertaining and being unabashedly obsessed and immersed in music. Through the years, we've kept in touch and our reunions, although increasingly infrequent, feel like we've never missed a beat.

Last night, we arrived at the casino a little earlier than was necessary and had ample time to waste a few dollars at the slot machines and eat an overpriced and under-seasoned dinner at the buffet before taking our place in line at the door. I stepped out of line for a moment and when I returned, Josh was making easy conversation with the two people waiting in line behind us. They were a brother and sister duo from Iowa, and huge Staind fans. Josh and the guy bonded instantly, mostly due to the ability men have to talk football stats with complete strangers. The fact that they were both sporting Red Sox caps probably didn't hurt either.

After a couple hours, we made our way into the convention room and sat next to these people we had only just met, talking with ease as if we were old friends. While waiting for Aaron to take stage, we traded stories and jokes; she showed me pictures of her young son and expressed how much she missed him, even though she was only going to be away for the night. Not to be shown up, I boasted my mobile pics of Penny the Puggle. Bask in the cuteness. During the concert, I looked over and saw tears streaming down her face and felt a genuine connection with this woman who, until hours before, was a stranger to me.

Music is a superpower. It communicates and unites us in ways that simple spoken word cannot. To me, there is nothing in the human experience that is so intimate as music.

At evening's end, we parted ways from our new found friends without exchanging numbers or last names; there was no need. I felt closer to Joshua and was reminded of all of the reasons why I love him. Aaron Lewis has been the soundtrack to our relationship, even before it began...but that's a post for another sleepless night. For me, this night was about more than the rekindling of my adoration for my boyfriend; I was reminded of my need for the innocent expression of music. It was a lesson for my soul.

There is reason in the random. I believe this life is more fated than accidental. I am not so closed minded to think that there is only one finite plan for each of us but rather, an ever-evolving path leading us to God and to one another. At this point, I haven't the wisdom or the inclination to say whether or not my beau and I will be meant for each other in the end. All I know is that for whatever reason, our journeys have intersected in a way that is unmistakably real. I've never known a love like this.

As I sit here typing this (excessively long) post, listening to the two songs he didn't play at the concert, I have only one thought running through my head. To my dearest friend, despite an uncertain future; long has it been since this story line began?
And I hope it never ends
and goes like this forever...

All photos personal

"Vicious Circles"
"Country Boy"
-Aaron Lewis & Staind (duh) =)

Friday, April 15, 2011

I just wanna be HAPPY

Don't let one cloud obliterate the whole sky.
- Anaïs Nin

Last night, I had a picture perfect date with this handsome guy I know. I am sometimes in awe of how kind he can be. We had dinner at a local Indian restaurant which I've been meaning to try, and we were one of three couples in the entire place. The atmosphere was intimate and quiet and perfect for the mood I was in. The majority of my evening was filled with good food, great wine, and dozens of kisses from the sweetest lips I've ever known.

Afterwards, we headed off to a bar I used to frequent in my silly single days to see a friend visiting from San Francisco. If I have learned one thing, it is that my guy does not like the bar scene. If not for the visiting friend, I would have gladly stayed home, cozied up, and listened to the thunderstorm, but my roommate wanted me to accompany her and I am a firm believer that little harm can come from trying to make someone happy. Wrong-o. Although we stayed for less than two hours, it really put a damper on the evening and on his mood. I woke up this morning feeling disheartened and more than a little irritated. Why is it that out of an entire evening, two hours of less than perfect-ness can overshadow all the happy?

I am choosing to make today a good day. It's raining and dreary, my dog just tracked mud all over my doorway and across my lap, I'm typing this post instead of blow-drying my hair which means I'll probably be running late for work (again) this morning, but y'know what? It's okay. That's life. I'm going to choose to smile instead of pout at the dark clouds in my life, because I know I am blessed and loved unconditionally. God didn't put us on this earth to be miserable and count the days until we die. He wants us to enjoy our time on this planet, and be happy! (John 10:10)

Happiness is a choice, people. Get some!


Wednesday, April 13, 2011

When Words Fail...

...Music Speaks.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

[almost] Wordless Wednesday

Happy "Hump" Day, friends!
Here are a few photos that have kept me smiling this week!

It's gonna be a bright....bright, bright sun-shiny day!

Gin Martini. Very dirty. 3 olives, please.

...shaken, never stirred.

I miss this handsome mug!
(uploaded upside-down for some reason...whatevs, I'm leaving it that way)

While cleaning his apartment, Joshua found a letter I wrote to him while he was away in the Navy. Those old feelings, like my messy penmanship, remain the same. *swoon*

Only a few more days till T.G.I.F, people!
We can do this!

What keeps you inspired?


"I Can See Clearly Now" Johnny Nash
"I Wish You Were Here" Owl City
"Tanged Up In You" Aaron Lewis (Staind) Can't wait to see him in a few weeks!

*All photos personal unless stated otherwise

Monday, April 4, 2011

Mantra of the Moment: A Heart Like Mine

Lately, it seems as though I am constantly reminded of my flaws. Each glance in the rearview mirror reveals scars and my overall lack of pigment. Each morning en route to the shower, the bathroom mirror reminds me that I am not where I'd like to be. I can say with certainty that now is the time of my life in which I have the least confidence in my overall appearance, but you know what I have discovered?

I have a lot of confidence in me. I have learned to trust my heart. To trust that I have a heart that wants to do good. Even when the outcome is not what I wish it to be, I have good intentions. I'm learning to accept that I'm not for everyone. And that's okay. In regard to this blog, I appreciate my few followers for their genuine interest. I tend to be a little sporadic with my posting, and Lord knows I tend to over-punctuate (i heart commas), but I hope there is something here that you can enjoy, laugh at, or identify with. The internet is an amazing place, isn't it?

I'll leave you with my favorite song of the moment. Music and language are true wonders of our world. I find magic in them.


"Heart Like Mine" Miranda Lambert

From my Android phone & edited via Picnik

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Please baby Jesus, send me to Ireland. P.S. I love you.

Wow. April already? Time flies when you're doing absolutely nothing with your life. Okay, so that's not true but it feels like it sometimes. Don't mind me, I've been under the weather this weekend and Josh is away with his best friend in Alabama...drinking coffee, smoking cigars and most likely using deplorable grammar. For those of you who think I'm being judgmental, I tell you this; literally every time he has called me since his departure, he has told me he is "fixin' to" do one thing or another. ;-)

My genius plan to cheer myself up while the bf is away for nine days? Keep busy. And then I got sick. Can't breathe. So after emptying my hulu queue and watching all nineteen episodes of My So-Called Life on Netflix, I decided on pizza and a movie. So, now I'm feeling guilty for the calories and crying while I watch P.S. I Love You. Genius plan=LOSING. I don't even like Hilary Swank. I mean, I know I'm supposed to support her success because she hails from my state and all, but I just can't see past the fact that her teeth take up half of the television screen. Good Lord, those chompers. On the plus side, I get Gerard Butler, Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Harry Conick Jr. in the same flick. Amen.

Tomorrow is national time to go back to work day, also known as Monday, and although I'm sure it will suck as much as a normal Monday does, I am bound and determined to make something out of the next few days. It's gonna take some decongestant, tylenol, and a heck of a lot of caffeine...but I'm ready to get out of this apartment! Bring it on, world! ...but for now, I think I'll open a bottle of Moscato, snuggle up with Penny the puggle and complete my sad little single girl (not really) stereotype for the night. Or maybe a Guinness. Gotta love it.

How was your weekend, friends?




"Here Without You" 3 Doors Down

***I miss you JMD, dream date tonight? See you there, love.***
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