The Last Time

I threw my arms around you and squeezed my eyes tight,

memorizing the strength of your arms,

the broadness of your shoulders,

the feel of your embrace...

I am safe, I am home.


I held you against me for only a second,

afraid to linger,

unable to move.

No past, No future.

In that quiet moment, time stood still.

No breath, no sound,

save for the drumming in my chest.

This is the last time I will ever see him.


I faked a smile and forced back tears,

and watched you close the door and

walk away.

From me,

from us, from everything...

Just let him go, let him be free.

I stood in silence,

waiting for pain to overtake me.

Waiting for the tears to flood,

instead there was nothing.

Nothing but numb.

I do not live, I did not die.


I was a ghost,

unfeeling and immovable.

Irrevocably frozen.

Just breathe, don't forget to breathe.


I fell into a dreamless sleep,

and awoke with your name on my lips.

My love, my heart...


The phone rang,

I answered.

I listened to your voice,

telling me what I already knew

in every corner of my soul.

You weren't coming.

Not again, Never again.


The thing I remember most,

is the calm.

In my mind I was screaming,

but my hand did not shake.

My heart dared not beat,

for fear it would be my last.

There is no coming back from here, this is it.

And then came the pain,

and bring on the tears,

oceans full.

Never the same.

-V

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Songs:

"Woods" Bon Iver

Author's Note: This one is admittedly a little dark, but I think it's pretty true to how I was feeling at the time it happened. Besides, I'm nothing if not a little over-dramatic.
No worries =) <-----see, I'm smiling now!