Wednesday, October 7, 2009

I'm ready.

One of my favorite things about music, it that it speaks when you can not. There are so many times when a certain situation will render me speechless, and I will turn to my piano or my radio to give me words. I'm sure everyone can relate. If you are a regular reader of my blog; first of all, thank you, and secondly, you know that I chatter quite a bit about relationships and love. I've been trying to put into words how I feel about my past, what I'm experiencing now, and what I hope for my future. Sometimes though, I fail. Enter Billy Joel.

In every heart there is a room
A sanctuary safe and strong
To heal the wounds from lovers past
Until a new one comes along

I spoke to you in cautious tones
You answered me with no pretense
And still I feel I said too much
My silence is my self defense

And every time I've held a rose
It seems I only felt the thorns
And so it goes, and so it goes
And so will you soon I suppose

But if my silence made you leave
Then that would be my worst mistake
So I will share this room with you
And you can have this heart to break

And this is why my eyes are closed
It's just as well for all I've seen
And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows

So I would choose to be with you
That's if the choice were mine to make
But you can make decisions too
And you can have this heart to break

And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows

For some reason this morning, I felt it was important that I share this with you, my dear reader. I am ready for new. I am ready for new experiences, new people, new challenges, new love. I am ready to open up again, I think I can take it. I am ready to leap into situations unknown, to put my faith in my God and trust that I will land on my feet, or He will catch me. All I can do is keep breathing, place one foot in front of the other, and live my life as best as I can. Will I stumble? Most certainly. I do know however, that eventually I will figure it all out, and I will make sense of this hodgepodge of a life I've got going.

So, what am I looking for? I'm looking for a career in which I feel fulfilled. A job that is more than a job, somewhere I can help. I'm looking for someone who not only accepts me despite my past, but because of it. A person who can love the pieces of my being, and also the completion. For the first time in a long time, I actually have faith that I will obtain all of these things. For the first time in a long time, I truly believe that I deserve them.
"And So it Goes" Billy Joel
"Use Somebody" Kings of Leon
"The Way I Am" Ingrid Michaelson


Tracie said...

Great Song!!

It is scary, those first steps into the dark unknown, that first leap, but it is worth it. Dream big, and don't stop at the dreaming live big too!!! (things that I have to keep reminding myself of also)

Girlie | Digital Room said...

I hope you'll find the things you're searching for. It's great that you are now ready to embrace new experiences and changes in your life. I admire your courage to face the uncertainties that these changes might bring.=)

Tracie said...

I received an award, and I'd like to pass one onto you for being a new blog I read!

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